I called 1-900-555-FREAKO the other night and went on the craziest 82 minute ride of my life. Frankie Freako is the new movie from Steven Kostanski, who has been making a name for himself the last twenty years. Following in line with what I described as “GWAR and the Billy and Mandy guy coming together to make an episode of Power Rangers”, Kostanski’s last joint was the 2021 masterpiece, PG: Psycho Goreman. Before that he worked on The Void and Leprechaun Returns, and prior to those he worked alongside the rest of a collective, Astron-6, on movies like Manborg and The Editor. Freako continues with what I think Kostanski does better than most, it captures this 80s nostalgia people have but it doesn’t suck you in and leave you dry. Instead, this movie helps connect to that post Stranger Things neon world, and it speaks to several audiences. There’s an erotic thriller scene, there’s several scenes that hit with the people that love little monsters like the Mogwai, and there, of course, are scenes of face melting goop. Kostanski being a special effects guy always goes so well and helps sell that crossover idea.
Conor Sweeney is in a rut in his life, being told by his boss that he’s a square and kind of bland, having his wife be disappointed in the bedroom, and his favorite TV show, an Antique Roadshow-esque title, lets people swear now. When he thinks he’s got nothing to look forward to, a late night commercial speaks to him and offers a solution, partying with Frankie Freako. Sweeney gives in and makes the call, changing his life forever. Frankie brings the party with him along with two other Freakos—Boink, who looks like Borg from Star Trek and could definitely be a nod to Astron-6’s Manborg, and Dottie, a cowgirl that Charles Band would gladly put in a SyFy original movie. The Freakos help Sweeney loosen up, destroying his house like the Cat in the Hat and those two Things in the process. There’s also a history lesson of Freakos similar to the Gremlins prequel cartoon meets The Terminator, and a villain that reminds me of Frank Booth and Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2’s version of Leatherface. Really, this movie has it all.
This quote from Kostanski really helps explain everything one would need to know about the movie,
“The “little monster” movie is a subgenre beloved by horror fans. Franchises like Critters, Ghoulies and Puppet Master are still immensely popular despite there being no recent entries in the franchises. Frankie Freako is my vision for the next tiny monster franchise, brought to life through a combination of modern visual effects as well as old-school practical puppeteering techniques.Additionally, I envision the film as my personal take on the Evil Dead II format: it is a contained story centered around one flawed man fighting an onslaught of tiny terrors, witheach set-piece escalating in absurdity and inventiveness. Frankie Freako is meant to be the complete antithesis of the current trend of overly self-serious A24-style horror films, with a tone more akin to early Tim Burton films like Beetlejuice or Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure. The success of PG: Psycho Goreman has proven that audiences have a taste for lighter genre fare, and Frankie Freako will be a similarly wacky adventure full of elaborate effects and off-the-wall humor.”
I was and still am a diehard Psycho Goreman fan. I wrote a review of it for an independent site, actively punished whoever ran the PG Twitter, and bought anything I could related to it, the Waxwork score, the blu-ray and toy set, even a bootleg VHS tape. Still not 100% sure if some of the sold out merch on that site was ever real, but I dream of the beach ball every day. The honor of seeing Frankie Freako was not lost on me, and it delivered in every way I would have liked. I have a vivid memory of seeing the Garbage Pail Kids Movie with my younger brother in the early 2000s, and that fever dream combined with the silliness of seeing Chucky run in the early Child’s Play movies only dip into what this offers to freaky fans. Adding “remember what happened when you called that Freddy Krueger hotline? You couldn’t sleep for weeks” to my daily quotes and dreaming of the day I can drink Fart Cola. So fasten your freakbelt and make that call to 1-900-555-FREAKO. You will not be disappointed, no foolin’.
